Friday 26 August 2016

Olympic moment in time

WALT: Describe a moment in time in detail.


Usain bolt.
This is about Running.
I was running as fast as I could down the lane coming first place I wondered if I could be first for my fourth time.

I am Usain bolt and I can run as fast as 9.58 seconds in the 100-meter dash.
They call me the fastest man in the world.
I run as fast as lightning swoosh! I go zooming past.
The crowd is going crazy like wild dogs.
Am I beating them it’s hard to say who's winning I think we are all about the same speed I am still the fastest man in the world though because I'm holding the record at 9.58 seconds in the 100-meter dash.

The race has finished I think I won the others are still running behind me.
I felt another win for Jamaica.

3 comments:

  1. To payton
    hey nice work there i really like your similes
    sorry have nothing to say to inprove

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Payton I like the way the you name the person. to be BTB in your work you could try use onomatopoeia.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi Payton I like the way you Named the person that you were talking about and I really like your similes
    Next step you could do a full stop and the end of the story about usain bolt

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for your positive, thoughtful, helpful comment.